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Posts Tagged ‘london’

London is yet another Hollywood movie about rich degenerate teenagers. This movie begins when Syd (Chris Evans) attends the going-away party of ex-girlfriend London (Jessica Biel) at the home of a friend (Isla Fisher). Before arriving at the party, Syd stops to see a friendly bartender, Mallory (Joy Bryant), Bateman (Jason Statham),the friendly local drug dealer. By the time they reach the party, both Syd & Bateman have ingested heroic quantities of illegal drugs and alcoholic beverages. Its a miracle that either one of them can stay awake.

At first, Syd & Bateman are content to hide in the bathroom talking about all sorts of things until eventually Syd gets up the courage to talk to London. Despite all the drugs and alcohol that he has consumed, Syd is able to talk to London in a perfectly sober manner.

London is a movie that was promoted as being a romantic love story. In actuality, it is anything but. Most of the actual movie takes place in the bathroom and concerns Syd & Bateman’s idiotic conversations about innumerable subjects, none of which had anything to do with love or for that matter about London herself. The end result is a movie that is totally contrived and ultimately nonsensical.

How does Hollywood keep churning this drivel out?
London

Eat London Architecture Eating

Title character London (Jessica Biel) is the ex-girlfriend of Sid (Fantastic Four’s Chris “Human Torch” Evans), aspoiled, egomaniacal coke fiend who spends a majority of the film in the bathroom of an ultra upscale New York loft. He converses with his dealer/friend Bateman (a seriously miscast Jason Statham, with what appears to be a seriously bad hairpiece) among others, as he ponders going downstairs to say his goodbyes to his beloved ex before she leaves town. First off, it should be well noted that there is hardly anything edgy to be found with London, as it is mostly a showcase for the whining talents of Chris Evans. Evans himself I don’t mind, but the philosophical musings and ponderings, combined with the mountains of cocaine that are ingested during the film’s running time (seriously, there’s enough here to kill Tony Montana) just make London more annoying and boring than anything else. The cast also features Joy Bryant, Isla Fisher, and comedians Dane Cook and Louis C.K. as well; but none of them really appear to do a whole lot with their screen time. If anything at all, London should be seen as a warning that drug addiction won’t turn you into a hideous fiend, but instead a whiny, pretentious moron. Other than that, do yourself a big favor and avoid London at all costs.
London